Homeschooling looks different for every family. We love the freedom to create the homeschooling life that works best for our individual families but sometimes doubts chip away at our confidence. With every book that we read or conversation, we have with a successful homeschooler, there is the temptation to second guess our own methods.
Comparison Trap
The easiest way to let your doubts take control in your homeschooling is to compare yourself with others. You have one friend who is super organized and writes out detailed lesson plans, another friend who is creative and does cool craft projects with her kids every week, and yet another friend who can explain math to her kids with ease. The latest podcast you are listening to makes homeschooling sound like a breeze and there you are struggling with your kids to even get started each day let alone sit for an hour. Comparing yourself with others will never help you. Get inspiration from your friends or the books you are reading. Then, instead of comparing, take a long look at your own strengths and what is working for you and your family. Make adjustments along the way but be careful to steer away from the comparison trap that will only make your life harder and less satisfying.
Gifts, Talents, and Limitations
Every homeschooling parent has unique gifts and talents. What are yours? If you are doubting yourself more and more you may need to start giving yourself some credit. Make a list of your strengths. What are the great qualities you have as a person? Are you compassionate, determined, relaxed, helpful, gentle, organized, or encouraging? What subject areas are you comfortable explaining? Daily remind yourself of these positive attributes you bring to your homeschooling. After you have a list of your strengths, make a list of your limitations. I am not awesome at Art and I’m ok with that. Do I force myself to work on Art with my kids? No way! That’s what our Co-Op is for. They have other teachers for the subjects that are difficult for me. If you are looking for help in a few areas check out online resources such as: https://www.homeschool.com or https://www.homeschoolfacts.com
Hours in the Day
There are never enough hours in the day to get every single thing done. When you are always running out of time, doubts have a way of sneaking in and making you think you just can’t do homeschooling well. Take a look at your day and what is stealing your time. Clear out what you can to make room for homeschooling. If possible, save errands and fun outings like going to the library or the park for after school. You can use the outings as incentives to complete homeschooling work for the day. If Math is taking you hours to finish, break it down into smaller blocks of time and move on. Getting your homeschool hours into a regular routine will help you to be more consistent and you’ll feel more accomplished at the end of each day.
Kids Aren’t Happy
The kids are crying and telling you that you are a mean person and a terrible teacher. Is it time to quit homeschooling and send them to school? Will they really be happier at school? Is that what your homeschooling is about? I did not start homeschooling to have fun with my kids. Schoolwork is not about having fun all day and feeling like Maria on the Sound of Music running through the mountains, turning lessons into songs, and at the end of the day being adored by the children. My homeschooling does not revolve around my kids’ happiness. When they are unhappy, I don’t suddenly doubt myself and question if I made the right decision to homeschool. Kids are unhappy for lots of reasons and most of those are related to doing something hard or new. Is it ok for kids to struggle and work through hard things? Yes! I’m happy I am here to help them work through those difficulties. It’s not about making my kids happy; it’s about supporting them in their education. For daily support in teaching your kids resiliency listen to my new favorite podcast by Dr. Kathy Koch at https://celebratekids.com
Doubts will come and doubts will go. The question is: What will you do when you doubt yourself? Will you give in or come up with a plan? Keep trying! Find support in other homeschool parents who have had their share of doubts too. Stop second guessing yourself and move forward in confidence.
Sarah Brutovski is a homeschool mom of three children. She grew up just down the street from where she and her husband are raising their family now in rural Upstate New York. When she is not teaching her kids, grocery shopping, or drinking coffee you might find her training for a half marathon, escaping for a morning at the beach, or chatting on the phone with one of her four siblings. Sarah loves writing on her blog sarahswritingcafe.blogspot.com and currently teaches creative writing at her kids’ weekly co-op.
