It may seem like just yesterday when your child was in diapers, or taking their first step, and now they are taking their first step out into the real world. They may be going to a college five minutes away or one fifteen hundred miles away, but no matter the distance it is going to be an adjustment period for the both of you!
Pep Talk
First things first, you may want to sit down with them and discuss how they will manage, especially if they will be multiple states away. You do not want them to feel like a child, however, you also do not want one of those calls a week into college asking for money or help! You want to set up your teen for success, and they want to be successful as well. Tell your teen this and explain how they can achieve those goals they may or may not have planned already. Are they going into a dorm? Do they have all the necessary furniture and supplies they will need for at least a week or two? Help them get organized so it is not a struggle on the day of the move.
Ground Rules
If you feel it necessary, you can also have a heart-to-heart with them in terms of their conduct. If you are afraid of them drinking and partying too much, make sure you do lay down some ground rules so they know that there will be consequences to their actions. Of course, we all know there are going to be parties and you are not going to be there 24/7 to make sure they are doing what you ask, but being respectful and asking for respect can go a long way in how your teen will choose their actions.
And if you are able to figure out that they are not following your guidelines or may be acting reckless, be prepared to have another conversation with them the next time they visit or by calling and talking to them. They may be feeling that independence and invincibility a little too much, so make sure to talk to them about the specific ground rules you both set. Be sure to talk about why the rules were set, and that it is a safety reason and not just a “controlling” problem. Your teen may be a little reluctant to take heed on their actions but stay firm and strong as they will soon figure out it is all about keeping them safe and enjoying college.
Katie Kyzivat